bill church part 2: bill and ollie up a tree

NOTE: THIS IS A TRUE ORAL STORY OF WORKING-CLASS LIFE as told to Fisher Lavell

Bill and Ollie Up a Tree, Told by brother Tom Church

Back when they were about twelve and thirteen, Bill and Oliver was out in the bush about a half mile from home, hunting for squirrels with a twenty-two, and they seen a moose. Well, it was out of season and the game wardens were always around, keeping an eye out for poachers. They could fine you or even throw you in jail if you got caught. Because what with it being the Depression and people literally starving, you wouldn’t want some poor sod to shoot one and feed their children.

Well, all they had was the twenty-two, not nearly enough fire power to kill something that big, but brother Bill decides he’s going to shoot the moose. So he takes aim, shoots him in the shoulder, which pisses off Mr. Moose and he comes stampeding after Bill and Ollie.

So Jesus, they shimmy up a couple little poplar trees and the moose is madder than hell and starts ramming the tree that Bill is in. And Bill’s got the twenty-two, so he shoots the moose a couple more times, which only makes the moose madder and he’s going crazy on Bill’s tree till it feels like it’s going to topple. Bill can’t even get a bead on him anymore and then he drops the gun and it falls on the ground right behind the moose.

So then Bill’s yelling for Ollie to get down and get the twenty-two, and Ollie says, “Why? Why does it have to be me? I don’t want to get down there.”

But Bill yells at him to get the goddamn gun. So Ollie gets down, grabs the gun, and starts climbing his tree again, but this draws the moose so then he’s ramming hell out of Ollie’s tree. Ollie’s screaming, clinging on for dear life, and Bill’s yelling, “Throw it to me! Throw it to me!” So Ollie somehow manages to throw the gun back to Bill, Bill shoots the moose a couple more times, and lo and behold, the moose drops dead. Killed by a twenty-two.

Well, the boys are just giddy, they got a big, beautiful moose, enough to feed the whole neighbourhood for weeks, and they go running home. Dad’s out in the yard and they’re all excited, yelling that they took down a moose with the twenty-two, they got  him and he’s just out back down by the creek.

Well, dad hauls off and cuffs them, cursing. “Don’t be ridiculous!” he tells them. “You know goddamn well a moose cannot be killed with a twenty-two! You need your head examined!”
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Ollie’s holding his ear there, crying, and then they see the game wardens over by their truck in the yard. Apparently, they’d been doing the rounds, looking for poachers.

Dad rants on at the boys about how it ain’t funny to tell lies and stop their damn joking and get them chores done like he told them. Game wardens give it all another glare and finally crawl up into their truck and go chugging out the lane.

Only after they’re long gone does dad say, “Okay boys. Let’s go get that goddamn moose youz took down with a twenty-two.”
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Oh Yes, I Will, Told by brother Charlie Church

That was me that took out my brother Bill Church’s eye, although it wasn’t on purpose.

We were just little guys, I was six and he was five, and we were out at the barn doing chores. We’d been arguing for hours, trying to outdo and outbrag each other over every damn thing. We had watered the animals and shovelled manure and then I was up in the loft, pitching down hay, and Bill was at the bottom, telling me that he could do this better than me and he could do that better than me.

And I said, “Bill Church, you shut up. Or I’m gonna poke you right in the eye with this pitchfork.”

And he said, “Oh no, you won’t.”

And I said, “Oh yes, I will.”

And he said, “Oh no, you won’t.”

And I said, “Oh yes, I will.”

And I took a jab at him, just in play, jabbing to the right of his eye so I’d miss it, but at the same time, he ducked left. And I poked him right in the eye with the pitchfork.

Hell of a thing. I never meant to do it and I told him after, I was so goddamn good and sorry. But Bill lost his vision in that eye at just five years of age. That’s what kept him out of the army when the war came around.

But apart from that, it don’t seem to have kept him back from anything else much.

​End of Part 2 of 3